tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12926034815096125802024-03-12T19:34:53.826-07:00Dazzling Pink ParadeSee what's inside the mind of depression.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-86143425228066125422011-09-18T17:42:00.000-07:002011-09-18T17:42:55.003-07:00My favourite Dumbledore quotes.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: right;">weheartit.com</td></tr>
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I recently finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It took me this long because I didn't want it to end. Harry Potter is the one thing that I pretty much grew up with and loved with all my heart. It has all the essentials that I long for in a book: good characters, exciting storyline, humour, a bit of romance, imagination and loads of fantasy. One of my very favourite characters is Professor Dumbledore, because he is so kind and caring towards Harry, yet he has a nice dose of humour and cleverness to make him stand out as a character. He also makes a lot of good remarks, ones that actually make sense in the real world. Today I will share these quotes with you all, maybe you will learn something from them (:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"To the well organized mind, death is but the next adventure." </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>"It's our choices, Harry, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities."</i> </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"And now harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure." </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"It's the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>"Do not pity the dead Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those without love."</b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening in my head?"<br /><i>"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry. But why on earth should that mean that is is not real?"</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>"Happiness can be found in the darkest <br />of times, if one remembers to <br />put on the light." </b></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-32114007430864576212011-07-26T18:09:00.000-07:002011-07-26T18:09:07.490-07:00Things I cannot go without on holiday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/12331501/tumblr_los5kxHtJz1qllboro1_500_large.jpg?1311415572" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/12331501/tumblr_los5kxHtJz1qllboro1_500_large.jpg?1311415572" /></a></div><br />
I love going on a holiday, far away from the daily crap that goes on here. Preferably with more sunshine, great views, wonderful cities, fun people and good food. This year I'm going to Budapest and I will spend 16 days there. I'm going with 3 people I could consider friends, though I barely know them. So this holiday could go either good or bad. I do believe that it's not only up to me to make it a success, but I also believe that things are as fun as you make them. But I do have a few essentials to make any holiday a great success for me and I will put those in a list below.<br />
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<ol><li>At least one good book</li>
<li>My photo camera + extra battery + charger</li>
<li>A notebook + pen</li>
<li>My teddy bear</li>
<li>My MP3 player + charger</li>
<li>Sunglasses</li>
<li>A positive attitude</li>
<li>Imagination</li>
<li>Creativity</li>
<li>Nailpolish</li>
<li>The will to explore</li>
<li>Curiosity for new things</li>
<li>A place to be alone</li>
<li>Spray bottle with refreshing substance (water/body splash)</li>
<li>Good shoes</li>
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I even made a collage to top it off.<br />
Every person has their own holiday essentials. Some need less, others more but everyone needs their own stuff to feel more comfortable. In my experience that is.. :PUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-75968420178224792642011-05-23T14:05:00.000-07:002011-05-23T14:25:15.668-07:00What if?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/9707402/tumblr_ll3xmpiaiL1qik67lo1_500_large.jpg?1305255338" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/9707402/tumblr_ll3xmpiaiL1qik67lo1_500_large.jpg?1305255338" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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I'm a huge fan of Grey's Anatomy. Today was the season final of season 7 (in Holland at least) and I cried.<br />
Especially when it reached the end, where Meredith always finishes her "thoughts" she start at the beginning of every episode. It got to me because I pretty much feel the same way. So I watched the episode again and wrote every word down she said.<br />
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<blockquote>There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it.<br />
It's easier to be alone.<br />
Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it? What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then... it falls apart.<br />
Can you even survive that kind of pain? <br />
Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is... Death ends.<br />
This, could go on for ever. </blockquote>That is pretty much how I feel about love at the moment. I'm afraid to love, simply because losing that love would hurt too much. I just can't handle pain, not that kind of pain. I'd be better off if I had physical pain since I know it'll end in a few days, or weeks when it's really bad. I rather break my bones than my heart.<br />
A broken arm can get a cast, a broken heart just sits there in your chest. <br />
Unprotected. <br />
Ready to break again at any time. <br />
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There was a quote I read a coupe of years back that said:<br />
<i>"Don't make someone your everything, because if you lose them you have nothing" </i><br />
And I promised myself to stick to that.<br />
I broke that promise and I got hurt.<br />
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I'm just afraid to love...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-34152895847894258582011-05-09T16:22:00.000-07:002011-05-09T16:22:28.116-07:00I'm just so tired...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8784898/tumblr_li3qk7BEyF1qbet79o1_500_large.jpg?1302730675" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8784898/tumblr_li3qk7BEyF1qbet79o1_500_large.jpg?1302730675" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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Lately I'm just so tired. <br />
So tired of everything.<br />
Tired of being awake..<br />
Tired of sleeping..<br />
Tired of people thinking they know what it's like<br />
Tired of them saying you should get out more<br />
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So sick and tired of people treating me like friggin dirt! <br />
I have feelings you morrons! ):<br />
So damn tired of feeling used by the people I love,<br />
of feeling unwanted to the ones I need.<br />
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But mostly I'm sick and tired of being me...<br />
Being like this<br />
To feel like doing nothing at all!<br />
Or to actually feel like doing something and then just being too afraid of doing it alone..<br />
I just sit here all day<br />
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Dreaming of everything that's out of reach. Thinking of what I should do with my life.<br />
The funny thing is..<br />
I try to come up with things to do with my life<br />
But my head just seems so empty.<br />
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And I noticed that ever since my dad moved in my energy and lust to live just got drained.<br />
Like I have to start all over with almost feeling okay again.<br />
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I spend most of my mornings in bed 'till the afternoon, while when mom was here I woke up early and felt happy and energetic. I actually got out of the house almost every day. <br />
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Now I just want to spend my days in bed... I wish I could sleep for a couple of weeks.<br />
just to see if shit has changed when I wake up again.<br />
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I'm also just tired of being so confused about how I feel<br />
And tired of being tired of every fucking thing.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-25279422385750570732011-05-02T08:21:00.000-07:002011-05-02T08:24:52.191-07:00Love, gimme love...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/9387132/tumblr_ljxloylMAQ1qagxuzo1_500_large.jpg?1304349184" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/9387132/tumblr_ljxloylMAQ1qagxuzo1_500_large.jpg?1304349184" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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Long time no posting here.<br />
About the last post... I had a little talk with my friend and for a while it has all been good so I guess I could try to talk to her about things more (: *yay*<br />
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Anyways.. a lot has happened the past few weeks!<br />
At the moment my mom has moved out of our house and my dad moved back in. Why? Yeah I don't know either. The only part I do get is that my dad wanted to spend more time with us than he has been able to for the past years. Pretty logical right? Anyway, this means that there will be a lot of changes going on in my house and it might get a little overwhelming for me. But I'll manage ;)<br />
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I'm still not sure how I feel about it all though... On one hand there will be a lot of positive changes around the house, on the other hand me and my dad are pretty much the same. And yeah.. that leads to a lot of tension sometimes. But I just have to see where it all leads and try to talk to my dad about it as much as I can.<br />
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Also, I was supposed to start running. To have something to start my day with, to have more exercise and to make me feel a little happier. I even wrote down a whole list of things that would motivate me to keep going. But I had a problem... I am too scared to do it by myself. In my head I think I will look like a fool and that I can't do it. So I asked someone to come along with me... Unfortunately she had to cancel because she had something important to do. Secretly I think that even if she went with me I still wouldn't have dared to start running. I still would have felt really stupid and awkward. But I really, really want to start running!! Especially 'cause I want to lose 33 pounds.. that won't happen while sitting on your ass now will it? I have lots and lots of things to change about myself...<br />
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Well that is pretty much it for today.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-58534736381612251252011-04-17T11:33:00.000-07:002011-04-17T11:33:37.979-07:00Sunday, bloody Sunday.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8893591/x_e0170eb9_large.jpg?1303038037" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8893591/x_e0170eb9_large.jpg?1303038037" width="398" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I totally wanted to tell you about the fun night I had last night. But right now I have a little best friend troubles.<br />
Unfortunately ): I think the both of us don't dare to tell each other how we feel about certain things... So at the moment, at least for me, frustrations have piled up and instead of talking to her I started ignoring her. You know why? Because when things get hard I run away from them. As far as I can. It's not the first time I've done this to a friend and it might not be the last time.Therefor I think I'm a sucky person. </span><br />
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And just now I got off the phone with her, she wanted to know what was up. So I tried telling her, in my awkward way, what my issues were. And guess what? She invited me over, instead of getting mad at me.<br />
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How come I always think the worst of people?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-35988244864910248832011-04-16T09:00:00.000-07:002011-05-09T16:23:20.363-07:00I'm a painting pro!So today was supposed to be another one just wasted away. But noooo! Everything changed when my mom called to tell me to bring something over to her flat. So I was all like "You kidding me?! Do I really have to cycle all the way over for that fucking thing?" And her answer was: "Well, you could just stay here and help us paint.. We have an extra brush" Well hooray... I was incredible cranky so not looking forward to painting walls the rest of the day. So I changed into some scruffy old clothes and got on my bike. I cycled so super fast I got there in like 10 minutes instead of the normal 20 minutes (: <br />
So how did Miss Crankypants survive this day?<br />
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When I first arrived I couldn't really do anything... So I was just standing there, feeling like something unnecessary, looking around the room. All of a sudden my uncle was like here's a brush, go paint something. So I started painting the hallway white. I thought it looked bad and uneven but my mom was pleased so.. Whatever right? Then my mom was trying to paint behind the radiator, which is a pain in the ass to do! But I thought I might as well do it so I could feel more useful. In the meantime mom would get us some lunch and I just painted away!<br />
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I noticed that something that needs to be done with precision and care is totally my thing. As long as I can focus on that, do it in my own way and have some background music to sing to I'm happy. So when the tough job around and behind the radiator was done I started on the wall next to it. I was still pretty clean once I was done, so that must mean I did a great job! :P So from now on, I am wall painting pro ya'll!! (not really..) <br />
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Sooooooooo........... In a few minutes my pizza will be ready and I will totally enjoy it. Haven't had pizza in at least two months *GO NANA!!!* After my pizza I will definitely take a nice shower and get ready for some partying! I am pretty beat though, but I won't let that get to me.<br />
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Have a great Saturday night (L)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Nana</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-70005774323052305992011-04-15T15:50:00.000-07:002011-04-15T15:50:38.885-07:00Headaches...Lately I've been having incredibly bad headaches that don't seem to go away. Sometimes even a week in a row. It's so friggin' annoying! And taking some aspirin doesn't do the trick ): I'm not a big fan of taking pills anyway, so I don't want to take to many of those nasty things. I think I might need glasses or something? Because I've been squinting with my eyes a lot, especially when I'm using my laptop. Sometimes I realize my nose is almost rubbing the screen, that's how close I get to it. I'm pretty sure that is the reason, because I feel the pain coming from my neck. Also, once I have a headache I should NEVER bend over, because my headache gets 10 times worse and I feel super dizzy :P So that is really weird.<br />
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Anyways, today I didn't do much I think. Just a shower, breakfast (well.. lunch), took a quick walk around the block, made a video for my beauty blog and went floor/paint/wallpaper shopping with my mom. Okay and the quick walk really was a quick walk! I was back in about 10 minutes, probably less. Didn't know I could walk that fast :D *Speed Walk Champion!* <br />
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Seriously... I don't EVER want to go shopping with my mom again when she needs floor, wallpaper and/or paint. It takes millions of light years before she finds something she likes. I mean, I already picked out 10 ways to decorate her room using all sorts of wallpaper and paint. She's just not easily satisfied I guess? She had her sister and brother-in-law (so my aunt and uncle) along for the ride. Thanks god they are funny as hell, they don't know that their selves though. So finally she had a wallpaper (one that is really pretty, but impossible to match with paint, floors and curtains...) and she decided to just go for white paint. Seriously? How BORING? And of course she decided she liked the floor she saw in the first store she went best.... So yes, my frustration level at the end was pretty high. Okay, I did flirt a little with the dude who helped us out with the floors, that was fun (: Eventually we dragged heavy 14 packs of laminate upstairs to her flat/apartment. Thank god for elevators!! (:<br />
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<a href="http://legacyentries.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/20081113223743.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="151" src="http://legacyentries.weheartit.netdna-cdn.com/20081113223743.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="200" /></a><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/1580166/tumblr_kyfd2wTrtn1qzrvo0o1_500_large.jpg?1267242419" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/1580166/tumblr_kyfd2wTrtn1qzrvo0o1_500_large.jpg?1267242419" width="200" /></a><br />
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Oh and dad dropped grandpa's chair off today, so it will be in our living room from now on (: It doesn't match the rest of the room and furniture at all :P But it has lots of memories attached to it, so we couldn't bare to throw it out. Hooray for touchable memories! (:<br />
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Okay, my headache is still not over and I have nothing to tell you anymore so....<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">See ya later alligator!<br />
xoxo<br />
Nana</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-22942579007761152352011-04-13T13:29:00.000-07:002011-04-15T09:01:20.577-07:00Hooray for today!So I woke up around 11.30 a.m. OOPS! I was supposed to meet my friend at 1 p.m. so I didn't have much time for shower, getting dressed, make-up and breakfast. So I skipped the shower (there was always tonight!) and I didn't have time for breakfast either. So I got dressed quickly, did my morning facial routine, make-up and hair and ran out the door. What did I do today?<br />
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Well I went shopping! With my best friend (: She said she could save me , from wasting another day. And hell no I won't let someone tell me that twice! Honestly, because I didn't get to wake up the way I normally do I was a bit moody and not yet able to speak. Yeah, I have that in the morning sometimes, I just don't speak :P<br />
But during our visit to H&M that all changed, because we had lots of things to talk about. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8779040/tumblr_ljlo91kIzg1qbuhado1_500_large.png?1302719415" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="321" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8779040/tumblr_ljlo91kIzg1qbuhado1_500_large.png?1302719415" width="400" /></a></div>My best friend was looking for shoes though.. my god the horror! :P She is NOT easily satisfied when it comes to shoes. Not that I mind, but we also have very different taste in shoes. So almost every pair I picked wasn't really her thing or too high for her taste. So I gave up on that and just supported her instead. <br />
The funny thing was... I was the one that ended up with a pair of shoes and she didn't! ^^ <br />
Well at least she bought them. (don't worry, I already paid her back!) <br />
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At the end of our fun day we sat down for a sandwich and some more gossiping. Too bad the weather wasn't that nice, else we would have had ice cream as well. When I came home I immediately shared my shoes on Facebook, since I'm extremely happy with them. I swear, they are the most comfortable heels I've ever walked in! And talking about heels. I know a lot of people think that depression means that people cut themselves. Not always, I just wear a pair of heels all day :P Not literally, of course! But I do think every girl that self-mutilates should wear heels in stead. It's quite painful when you're not used to it and you won't have those awful scars! Or is that a wrong way of thinking? Anayways.. Picture of my shoe!!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/208029_107835709300297_100002216051002_85437_6953546_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/208029_107835709300297_100002216051002_85437_6953546_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
A nice nude patent pump with platform. They don't look comfortable at all! But they are fantastic. I know I should not have bought these, but I was desperate because I've wanted these for ages and I've been wanting to buy shoes for ages as well. So I took a bit of money from my savings account... I know, it's stupid! But I have a good reason to wear heels more often now. (:<br />
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When I got home my dad was here, to visit, so that was nice. We had Chinese food for diner ^^ <br />
Right now I'm actually tired, which is weird because normally I don't get tired until 3 a.m. So it's shower time and off to bed for me (: Good days just drain more energy I guess?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Nana</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-36671869021964053072011-04-12T13:43:00.000-07:002011-04-12T13:43:07.633-07:00Update.So after I closed my laptop I made my lunch. After lunch I vacuumed around the house and I did my nails. After diner I went with my mom to her new flat, where she will be moving into soon. I helped her out with getting shit done, so she can start painting this weekend.<br />
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After lunch I just had a lot more energy. I took some snapshots of what happened the rest of the day, I don't see the point in telling a whole story when you can't see an image with it.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CeoUkq96jig/TaS1wZJfnSI/AAAAAAAAArY/gBlvHrwS5ow/s1600/Foto0747.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CeoUkq96jig/TaS1wZJfnSI/AAAAAAAAArY/gBlvHrwS5ow/s400/Foto0747.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lunch..</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R6C0rDur0ls/TaS1gSEBzoI/AAAAAAAAAqs/3kJ33TN-hO8/s1600/Foto0749.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R6C0rDur0ls/TaS1gSEBzoI/AAAAAAAAAqs/3kJ33TN-hO8/s320/Foto0749.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wore these heels all day, the socks are really sexy like that.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_jMqljGpiDw/TaS1hBMjbfI/AAAAAAAAAqw/gDICVIK0tt4/s1600/Foto0750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_jMqljGpiDw/TaS1hBMjbfI/AAAAAAAAAqw/gDICVIK0tt4/s320/Foto0750.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Vacuuming..</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BCHnX7ZEVfc/TaS1inCm79I/AAAAAAAAAq4/jRr9cvV5Pik/s320/Foto0752.jpg" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At least I could listen to some good music while vacuuming!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6DpiFD9asvg/TaS1h8Nf4VI/AAAAAAAAAq0/H0qlhmJ_SqI/s1600/Foto0751.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6DpiFD9asvg/TaS1h8Nf4VI/AAAAAAAAAq0/H0qlhmJ_SqI/s320/Foto0751.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Friggin weather! And yes, that view is butt ugly!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OFxwXE27EiA/TaS1jYmvV4I/AAAAAAAAAq8/2lQg655_Wk0/s1600/Foto0754.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OFxwXE27EiA/TaS1jYmvV4I/AAAAAAAAAq8/2lQg655_Wk0/s320/Foto0754.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Had a nice cup of tea with honey for my sore throat. Green tea with cranberry (:</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ALMXal6DOfY/TaS1kEslcjI/AAAAAAAAArA/4zSeC6lztcs/s1600/Foto0755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ALMXal6DOfY/TaS1kEslcjI/AAAAAAAAArA/4zSeC6lztcs/s320/Foto0755.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My nail broke :'( That shit really gets me annoyed.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tTNV2EDVS-I/TaS1lm0mm1I/AAAAAAAAArI/IyWcaz-Mcbw/s1600/Foto0757.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tTNV2EDVS-I/TaS1lm0mm1I/AAAAAAAAArI/IyWcaz-Mcbw/s400/Foto0757.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trying to get the damn wallpaper off! And of course I had the crappiest wall to work with... </td></tr>
</tbody></table>Well.. that was pretty much the rest of my day (: So eventually I did get some things done and I'm happy I did. Tomorrow I'll go shopping with a friend so I'll be busy as well. Wait SHE will be shopping, I'll just watch and be annoyed that I can't buy anything :P<br />
<br />
Oh, I also called one of the companies about my job applications. The woman helped me out big time! She told me they never got it and that I should definitely resend it! So I did and I got an e-mail saying they received it. Hooray ^^ That won't mean I'll get to have an interview, but it will at least show that I'm trying hard right?<br />
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Well tomorrow might be a happy post ^^<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Nana</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-9219372682088762282011-04-12T03:17:00.000-07:002011-04-12T03:18:36.038-07:00Just another one of those days..You know, those days where you feel like doing so much and end up doing nothing. My plans for today were:<br />
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Get out of bed early <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(not exactly?)</i></span><br />
Have breakfast <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(I forgot..)</span></i><br />
Go for a half hour walk <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(By myself? Are you crazy?!)</span></i><br />
Vacuuming the house <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(Screw that, let someone else do it!)</i></span><br />
Call the company for information about my application letter <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(...)</span></i><br />
Have lunch <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Allrighty then.. Breakfast lunch is all I'm used to these days)</span></i><br />
Do some laundry <i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Really? Why do I even think about doing that?!)</span></i><br />
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Instead.. I sit on the couch and do nothing. Why? Because I can't get myself to do anything.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8631630/tumblr_ljchpzoOUN1qzcspxo1_500_large.jpg?1302298960" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8631630/tumblr_ljchpzoOUN1qzcspxo1_500_large.jpg?1302298960" width="400" /></a></div><br />
I woke up around 10 this morning, so that's not really early but not late either. I got dressed and started making plans. But as soon as I got downstairs I wasn't hungry anymore. So I just turned on my laptop and that's my worst enemy! It makes me not do anything.<br />
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The half hour walk is something I'm afraid to do. Not that I mind walking, but I'm scared to do that all alone. But because it's something I have to do by myself, I don't do it. Vacuuming the house is something I just have to do, because no one else here does it. But because I'm the only one it annoys me that it's always me. And therefor I don't feel like doing it. <br />
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Calling that company.. is something that is terrifying for me. Something most people don't understand, but as soon as I start thinking about it I freeze up and my hearts starts pounding like crazy. I'm scared because I don't know what to say and I'm afraid to make a fool of myself. And that they don't even want to see me for an interview because I did that. Oh yes, things that are normal to most people scare me to death. I have the weirdest anxieties that keep me from living life in a "normal" way.<br />
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I am getting hungry right now, so I will be making lunch. Something that gives me the energy to start doing something! Oh, I hate doing laundry. Not so much the putting it in the machine part, more the taking it out when done and then hang to dry part.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8192734/landuary-copy_137711821_large.jpg?1300997057" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8192734/landuary-copy_137711821_large.jpg?1300997057" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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Seriously though, most people don't understand that I can't do these simple tasks. They think I'm just lazy. But to tell you the truth: depression sucks every bit of energy out of you. Especially with weather like today, rainy and dark, I can't get myself to move. The weather has a great impact on my emotional status. I will try to get myself off the couch and make some lunch. Hopefully I get at least 3 things done from my list, besides having lunch of course. Update tonight maybe?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Nana</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1292603481509612580.post-18830295461895588542011-04-11T14:21:00.000-07:002011-04-11T14:35:58.122-07:00Negative vs PositiveWhen 9 out of 10 times you think negative thoughts, you barely notice you're dragging yourself down. When in your eyes everything you do is either not special on exciting life gets boring and just a drag.<br />
And every time something goes wrong or things don't go the way they were supposed to you think it's because of you. Yes, at that point you actually believe you are worthless. And the positive things that happen to you are barely noticeable. What to do?<br />
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<a name='more'></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8440702/Happiness_2_large.jpg?1301751815" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/8440702/Happiness_2_large.jpg?1301751815" width="400" /></a></div><br />
It might be tough, but it is super important to start changing your thoughts! How? Every time you think you're worthless or something else negative you write down what happened. And mostly you write down the thoughts you had and why they made you feel bad about yourself. Once you found those thoughts, you tell yourself why they are true. So for example you drop a glass and it breaks. You start thinking oh I'm so clumsy, I suck at everything and I can't even hold a glass! That makes you feel bad about yourself and drags your whole mood down. Now you go tell yourself exactly why you suck at everything. And remember, everything is a whole lot! <br />
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Once you're done making that list, you make a list why you DON'T suck at everything. And again, everything is a whole lot! So.. if you are good at drawing, singing, writing, helping others, listening, soccer, chess... Everything you're good at is a pro to everything you suck at. once you wrote down that list, mostly that list is longer than the negative one. Think of it as pro's and con's to your negative thoughts. <br />
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Now rethink the whole situation. You drop the glass again, but instead of being all negative you be like oh snap, that sucks. But it happens to the best! Imagine how you would feel if those thoughts would come up in your head immediately. Exactly! You don't feel bad about your self at all and your mood isn't ruined. <br />
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To be honest, it is really hard to change your way of thinking. But as long as you notice the negative thoughts, it gets easier to change them into positive ones. As long as you keep trying, life gets a little easier. <br />
Just do it one step at a time.<br />
Oh and most important:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://data.whicdn.com/images/4800449/z217602439_large.jpg?1289019176" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://data.whicdn.com/images/4800449/z217602439_large.jpg?1289019176" width="308" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Nana</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0